How to believe something new
So often when I’m in the process of working towards a goal that I want, it involves doing the work to believe something new.
Instead of white-knuckling my way through to completing a project or relying on willpower to maintain a new habit, if I can look at the thoughts going on behind the scenes in my brain, I’ll get an interesting glimpse at WHY the actions alone aren’t working.
Then I can alter what I believe in order to propel or power the goal. This is SO much easier and SO much more effective. (And it feels infinitely better throughout the process of getting there.)
This post is my attempt to put down in words exactly how to believe something new. It’s something I hear people (especially life coaches) talking about a lot, but I haven’t really see it written out in practical terms with steps to follow. The journaling practice I use to believe something new is working really well for me so I want to share it with you in hopes it works for you too.
Let’s start with an example.
Let’s say I have a goal to make a certain amount of money this year (which is true). And let’s say a money goal is something I struggle with because someone else’s decision to pay me is more out of my control than most of the goals I usually set (…which is also true).
A year or two ago, I tried to reach my money goals by doing everything I could to “make” it happen with all the actions I could possibly think of. A few things sort of worked, but most did not. And worse than that, I felt terrible the entire time.
I constantly felt frustrated, discouraged, shame, stressed, and desperate. These feelings were propelled by thoughts like:
Why can’t I figure this out?
Nothing is working.
I really need help because I just don’t know how to do this.
What is wrong with me?
I’ve got to make this happen.
I found that I actually wanted two things:
To reach my goal and make the money
To feel good along the way
The more I experimented, the more I found that working on the second desire to feel good allowed me to also reach my goal more effectively.
In other words, I was so much more likely to make money from a place of inspiration, excitement, momentum, and sufficiency.
You might be asking yourself how to bridge that gap between feeling frustration and inspiration. How do I start to FEEL differently on purpose?
To feel something different, you have to believe something different.
I was feeling frustrated and discouraged because my thoughts proved I believed I wasn’t capable of figuring this out and that something was wrong with me.
I’ve done (and am still doing) lots of work in this area to believe new things like:
I’m completely capable of making this kind of money.
Work is play.
Experimentation is what leads to success (and I’m really great at experimenting).
I’m learning the skill of selling.
I’m getting there.
So how do I believe something new?
This is the fun part. Coming up with the right mantra or thought that I want to believe in order to feel good can be tricky. I often have to do some journaling and thinking for a few days to settle upon the one that feels right.
And I’ve noticed it can’t be one I’ve heard from someone else or seen somewhere. It has to come from ME to have the emotional weight and certainty that it’s true. So now I know if the right words aren’t coming at first, I just need to keep working and thinking about it a little longer.
Below is the practice I use to assess how I’m currently feeling about my goal, examine my current beliefs causing those feelings, uncover new beliefs, and do the work of believing them.
I call this kind of work self-inquiry and if you actually sit down and write through these questions rather than just reading them and mulling it over for a minute, you won’t believe the gold mine of information and potential you’ll find to help you!
Here’s my belief work journaling practice
Journal answers to the following questions:
What is my current goal with my work?
How do I feel about reaching that goal right now?
What are the beliefs and thoughts behind whatever that feeling is?
On a scale of 1-10 how confident am I that I’ll reach this goal?
If I KNEW this goal was for sure going to be reached (it was a 10), what would I be thinking? What would I NOT be thinking that I’m thinking now?
Find a thought you can believe (or almost believe) that will help you reach the goal with ease and confidence.
This step might take some time and thought. Just work with it without stress for a few days and keep thinking. A thought will eventually come that’s just right.
You’ll know you’ve found the right thing when you smile to yourself and feel a flutter of positive emotion zing through your body. It might not feel entirely true yet, but you’ll sense that it is almost true.
Once you’ve landed on a belief or two that gives you that good feeling (it might be excited, energized, joyful, relieved, empowered, etc.), it’s time to do the work of practicing belief. Don’t skip this step! This is your chance to ingrain the belief into your brain over the course of a few weeks.
Doing this will allow you to actually change who you are and give you the real capability to achieve the goals you ultimately want.
Here’s a few ways you can do practice the new belief:
Think the thought at every opportunity you can. Have a visual reminder (a post-it on your fridge or mirror, wallpaper on your phone, on the front of your journal, etc.) that encourages you to think it over repeatedly.
Write it down every day. Write it once or 10 times, whatever works for you.
Find evidence that it’s true. Write it down as you notice it and be on the lookout for more evidence.
Visualize the thought being true while you meditate or as you go to sleep each night. These are times when your mind is sensitive and susceptible so imprint the things that you really want there.
You’ll be tempted to overcomplicate this part (“But I don’t get how to believe something different than I’ve always believed before!”) but it’s truly as simple as it sounds. You just practice thinking it as often as possible.
Beliefs are nothing more than things you’ve thought repeatedly. So think purposeful thoughts over and over again.